TOXIC PEOPLE

Although I'm only 16, I've dealt with a lot of stuff that has forced me to grow up pretty quickly. One of those things was toxic people. When it comes to toxic people there is a naivety in all of us, we refuse to believe that someone we care about is toxic. At first we don't realise someone is toxic, they just seem to always be pulling you down, and we get caught up in our feelings or emotions that we feel for this person. (a friend, a significant other, sometimes even family members)  In this post I'm going to talk about how toxic people can affect us, how you recognise a toxic person and how to cut that person out of your life.

Toxic people (especially friendships) take a huge toll on our mental health, and example of this is when you feel physically, mentally and emotionally drained after seeing / talking to someone. Toxic people have drastic affects on our mental health, for many reasons (we'll get into those reasons later) So if you find yourself feeling down after hanging out with a friend that could be why. Also, friends or people who constantly make you feel like crap about things you are excited about are toxic, or people who just make you feel like crap purposely are toxic. When they do this, it will eventually change your opinion of yourself, making your self esteem drop drastically. (our brains are programmed on repetition, if we hear something enough eventually we start to believe it, so if someone is constantly tell you that you're stupid or annoying, you start to believe it after a while)

Now, time for the part where you read and maybe realise some of your friends are toxic. How do we now that someone is toxic for us? The signs are pretty clear and if you know what they are, it's easy to recognise.

• If a friend is never happy for you when you succeed, or the biggest one is when you do better then one of your friends on a test or assignment and they are really salty about it and don't congratulate you.  (Massive sign they are toxic)

• If someone constantly puts themselves in bad situations and expects you to pull them out of it every time, no matter how you feel about the situation. And they never learn from their mistakes and keep putting themselves in bad situations, despite your desperate attempts at helping them. (Side Tip: If someone doesn't want to help themselves, there is absolutely nothing you can do to save them from self imploding. That person won't change if they don't want to change)

• If someone drains you after seeing them or talking to them, or if you start dreading seeing someone.

• A toxic person loves to manipulate you, pay attention to the things they say to you or the way they behave around you. (Toxic people get in your head, and once they are there, they never leave mentally. Even when they physically leave, you will question why you weren't good enough for them, even though you did nothing wrong.) 

• They are super judgemental of everything you do. This fits in with them always making you feel crap about things you like / are excited about.

• If someone never apologises for anything or never admits they are wrong when they really fcked up

• If they don't take responsibility for their actions or feelings. If they blame everyone but themselves then they are toxic people. 

• If they make every situation about them, or always plays the victim in situations when they have absolutely no right to play victim  (when they were the ones who fcked you over, and they STILL have the audacity to be mad at YOU for getting mad at them. :/ )

How to cut them off

With toxic people, they will pull every trick out of their asses to get you to stay with them. They love holding power over people. It's best to tell them straight to their face that you don't want to hang out with them anymore, don't give them room to slide in their tricks. When they ask why, don't tell them how awful they are (they will use it against you and start blaming you for things), just say that you two grew apart, or that the friendship just turned toxic (if you say ' the friendship' and not specifically them,  then they won't get as defensive because it sounds like a mutual toxicity, little do they know it's very one sided.) Just distance yourself from that person, remove them on social media and delete their number. You are better off without their negative energy.

Hope you guys liked this post, it was a little bit deeper than usual but I think its an important topic that people need to know about. (Thanks to Carla for coming up with this blog post idea xx) 

Until next time

- Mikala