Poems

These are the words I struggle to say in person. My deepest inner thoughts and feelings. Please treat them kindly. Poems will be updated regularly. " - " means its new

- Unraveling

Before the storm came it was quiet. 

I traced my shadows outline on the cement with a soft hand

that had never felt the roughness of the ground until then. 

before the storm I had found comfort in the ocean, 

in the constant pulling and pushing of the tide 

because I knew that for every drop of water that was taken from me, 

another would return - with the seaweed and the foam. 

before the storm the loudness in my head was consistent 

of silent buzzing and butterflies. 

but the blue sky I stared at slowly started to turn black.

Then suddenly came the wind, 

it pushed through me - 

until the grains of sand tore my skin open

and there was blood dripping from my hands. 

I rushed to the sea to clean myself, 

but the tide had pulled all the water away. 

Then followed the rain,

the torrential downnpour washed away the blood,

but it left my skin stained bright red.

And within the cracking colour

I found a label titled burden 

had found its way onto my skin.

When the lightening cracked it was frightening,

the loudness in my head was no longer composed of silence, 

by rather a deafening sobbing, 

and as I rain fell, I fell with it. 

After the storm cleared the water had returned, 

but the tide was stronger than ever,

so as I stood on the beach 

the waves took me with them

and what remained of me

washed away in the ocean until suddenly I was gone. 

- Forged  

I can feel the weight of the world 

Cracking,

Crumbling.

Beneath my feet.

Is it not strange, 

That amongst the chaos 

of the storm 

My fingertips are still searching for their innocence.

Is it not strange,

That amongst the sunlight 

And the breeze 

My fingertips are still searching for the darkness?

Perhaps my body was built for this 

Like I was forged

from iron 

and gold.

Like the heavens 

and the gods 

Decided I would be strong 

before I even had the chance to crumble. 

- Unnamed 

He is soft, like still water 

He his kind.

He gives life and doesn’t take much of anything anymore. 

I am trying to be soft,

I am trying to be kind. 

But the ghosts of the raging seas - 

The Crashing waves 

and deadly tides.

They pull me in 

Until I am drowning. 

Up to my neck -

Surrounded.

By wild water and sins.

I am flooded with regrets, 

So many that I could let them consume me. 

But I won’t. I won’t.

If only I could push past the waves 

I could find balance in the calm.

If only I could bear the unbearable silence

On the island 

north of the sea, 

I could find peace in it, instead of fear. 

Somewhere far away 

When the summer night sky 

Is as clear as day 

those little blinking lights 

Take my all my troubles away 

Because there in space 

Where they sit, peacefully and free 

Is where I’ve always wished I could be;

Far away from this world

and all the people that pollute it.

Sometimes I just close my eyes 

and pretend that I can do it. 

Pretend that I can escape 

from the noise filled air that surrounds me 

Pretend that I can run away

From the narrow streets that haunt me 

Pretend that I can flee, 

and finally set my soul free. 

But instead I’m stuck here 

In this backyard 

staring at the blinking lights 

Wishing that when dawn strikes

and they disappear 

That they will take me with them 

To another hemisphere.

I.can.finally.breathe

It is quite comforting 

To look at the stars, 

And see only flecks of light.

Not the spark in your eyes 

Not the fluff in your hair 

Not the specs of your skin.

To see only flecks of light 

Where I once saw you

Is odd. But good. 

To see only a moon 

Floating in the sky 

And feeling no desire 

To speak to it,

Feels the same,

As me looking at you 

And seeing only a human 

Instead of a fantasy.

To look at the sun

Without it burning me,

Is a miracle I thought

Would never occur.

To look at the sun 

And not be blinded 

Feels like I 

just escaped a curse.

Because you 

Were slowly killing me 

Breaking me down piece by piece.

But now, I’m an epitome 

Of a girl who learned her worth 

And now you want a piece of me 

As if you never caused my hurt. 

intro

I guess I write poetry

For the same reason you write music.

To free my mind of thoughts of you.

But on these pages

There are phrases

That only the clever will see through.

You see it’s not the words that are important,

But rather the story’s behind them.

It’s not the lines you are reading

It’s the spaces between them.

If you look closely

You might even see your name,

Look even closer

And you might even see my pain.

For the words I write on these pages

Hold me together like glue

The words I write on these pages

Help me to forget you.

intro pt 2

Isn’t it funny

That the words I write are inspired by you.

that the false hope found its way

out of your fingers

onto my skin.

Isn’t it funny

That the words I write

are to release the pain

and to ease the thought of you away.

And yet you sit there like a fool,

Reading my poems in your room,

With not a single clue,

Darling they are all about you.

How can you miss someone who isn’t even yours ?

And I still miss you

From all these miles away.

In different states,

But In the same mind frame.

And the sky above me

Is the same one you see

And both our hearts beat

To the same melody.

But while I’m missing you

You’re missing someone else

And your heart can’t take the pain

Of her leaving you on the shelf.

So you stare at the moon,

Asking her to heal your scars

While I scream at the moon,

Asking her why I keep falling apart.

Asking why I fell for a heart that was already broken into parts?

And yet from so many miles away

I can still feel your pain

Expect you’re calling out for her,

while I’m calling out your name.

You are the ocean

Loving you

Feels like I’m drowning

Like I’m drowning in the ocean but the waves won’t stop coming.

Crashing violently over my head,

Until the light fades away and I’m left

With salt water filling up my lungs.

Watching you with her

It feels like I can’t breathe,

Like the air turned into cement

and all the oxygen in the room

was replaced with envy.

Here lies my heart

Why do I like you?

Why do I let your lies

Get underneath my skin.

Why do I allow your eyes

To paralyse me in a second.

Why do I allow my skin

To imagine your hands

Lingering

On top of mine.

Why do I let my tears

Fall down my face

They are falling for you.

Why do I let my lungs

Inhale

the bittersweet smell

Of wanting someone

I can’t have.

I try to find meaning

In every melody,

In every sentence that you speak.

But I can’t find the purpose

I can’t figure it out.

I don’t know what it is about you,

But you make me lose all common sense,

Why did I let you ruin me?

Why did I break for a boy

who doesn’t even know

I exist?

Crush

I can’t seem to forget your hands

Tracing along my skin

I can’t seem to forget your eyes

Staring at me,

reminding me of where you’ve been.

I’ve loved you two times

Eventually I had to give in.

Because your skin

Easily forgot mine.

And your eyes

Although they make me blind

They see me as unworthy of your time.

I can’t begin to comprehend

What does she have that I don’t?

What can she give you that I won’t?

Deep brown eyes, little white lies

Reminding me of where I’ve been.

Of how far I have come.

I’ve tried moving on from you love.

But every bone in my body

Needs the air that you provide.

Every word that I write

Is about you, I simply cannot lie.

I’m tired of staring at you,

Hoping you glance my way.

I’m tired of convincing myself

That this feeling won’t stay.

Mirros

If the two of us were to stand

Back to back or

Side to side

It would be obvious that we are not similar.

But in the reflection of the mirror,

Staring back at myself

all I can see is you.

I can see the places where your fingers lingered above my skin.

I can see the traces of you

scattered upon my lips.

I can feel my heart skip a beat

Just picturing the moment when our eyes meet.

Because it feels like it’s been centuries

Since I felt your presence seeping in,

So I won’t look at my reflection

Until my mind forgets your skin.

flame

Two eyes are all I see

They staring back at me.

They are dark brown,

Mine are too, although I’ve always wanted blue.

Soft skin

lingering

Underneath my fingertips.

Every cell in my body collides with yours

They are exploding.

I swear for a moment I saw sparks

Flying out of your fingers.

I swear for a moment I felt my heart

Beating out of my chest.

You are all I’ve ever wanted

With every fibre of my being.

But standing here with you

I realised that my greatest desire

Will never be true,

Because I feel lightning

Where you feel nothing but dark,

Darling I feel a fire,

Where you can’t even start a spark.

star signs

And as we bathed in the night,

With the star light

Reflecting off of the water,

We had become stars our selfs.

And the closer we got

the stronger our gravity became.

But I guess we got so distracted

by the beauty of it,

That we forgot

when stars collide,

they

explode.

-----

I talk about you

Like you put all the stars in the sky.

But you talk about me,

Like I'm the one who makes them disappear.

· It was the sun

------

Freedom

And for the first time in a long time

The thought of you left my memory,

I had to be reminded of your existence.

For once, I can feel your touch slowly fading away.

After all this time, the smell of your cologne is untangling itself from my senses.

Finally, my lungs are learning how to inhale fresh air, air that wasn’t poisoned by you.

Finally, I have let you go,

you don’t linger

around my heart anymore.

For once,

I am soaring among the trees,

Finally, darling, I am free.

fall

And our fingers danced together in the breeze, slowly intertwining.

And as if we were autumn trees, our leaves shined so bright.

But at the surface I always knew we would lose our light.

And although our hands fit perfectly together, our hearts did not match the same.

My heart was beating, but it was not beating your name.

And my heart was screaming, it was screaming to let you go.

I had to drop the leaves, red and orange wasn’t me, no.

So I turned back to green, I had to cut you free

And although it hurt you, I needed to do it for me.

bad habits

The stars lit up her room,

As she lay with her eyes closed.

Not sleeping, but breathing,

Thinking as the night goes,

The moons light cast a shadow,

Upon the fragile trees.

She stayed there still,

Her mind drifting away with ease.

She had a habit of becoming lost,

Trying to figure out who she was

She has a habit of doubting herself,

And falling in love just because.

Rainy day

Tap tap tap

The rain falls down my window.

And in the reflection of the water

The street lights glimmered like the stars.

And the thoughts of you that I repressed,

Came crawling back out of my skin.

The rain tap tap tapping on the window

Created a melody that was far too similar to your voice.

And now I’m driving home

thinking about your laugh,

thinking about your smile.

The street lights glimmered in the reflection of the water,

Reminding me of my past mistakes

Reminding me of you.

Cheap Champagne

You look at her

And you come undone.

I look at you

And I come undone.

But you don’t love me,

The way I love you.

You see her in my eyes

You see her in everyone

And you don’t know why.

I know you feel that way about her

Because I feel that way about you.

It’s so hard,

chasing after someone

Who is running in a different race,

Running for a different girl.

It’s so hard

being hurt

By the same person.

It hurts because you don’t care

You don’t care about me and I know it.

I wish you would care,

I wish I could care more about myself

So I could get over you.

But I can’t let you go,

And you can’t let her go.

So I guess I’m stuck

In this vicious cycle again.

I guess I’m stuck

Getting drunk

Off of cheap champagne.

blacklight

And although you shine so brightly

You can’t see me at all.

And although my heart races when you look at me

nothing I do will make you fall.

Because you are stuck in a vicious cycle Constantly spinning around.

You are stuck in a vicious cycle

You put your walls up and refuse to let them down.

I could be the one if you let me,

I could wipe the pain from under your eyes.

I could take away what makes you empty,

and stand proudly by your side.

Distant memory

It’s nights like this

That make you forget

That you are human.

When your heart

feels as heavy as your eyelids

and your thoughts refuse to rest.

My lungs circulating cool air

Around my warm chest.

And the world outside is quite,

Even though my mind is loud.

And even the moon hides away

behind a sky of shadows,

Trying to avoid the sound.

My fingertips tap slowly

Across the windowsill,

Reminding me that I’m human

Reminding me to heal.

Old friend

Some days, my friend comes to visit. He comes a couple times a month.

He doesn't visit too often,

but my god when he does,

He makes me It feels like everything is still, but moving 100mph at the same time.

Sometimes it feels like I'm suffocating barley able to breath.

Other times I'm drowning in my own tears.

People tell me to ignore him,

that eventually he'll go away.

They are all wrong though,

he told me he wants to stay.

He hides in the shadows,

lurking around.

He waits until I'm safe and sound,

Then he Visits again, destroying my mind.

It's not my fault he can't leave me behind.

He drags me under the invisible shore

Taking me with him once more.

He can breathe down here but I cannot.

He doesn't listen though, he won't stop.

I try to fight back I really do,

But it's hard to fight

when he's fighting too.

Then he leaves again,

I haven't seen him in a while.

But I know he'll come back,

This time without a smile.

My friends name is Anxiety,

You might know him too.

His purpose is to turn

my entire world blue.

Eclipse 

The sun chases the moon, in an endless cycle. 

They chase and chase but never seem to touch.

Maybe we are the sun and the moon. Maybe your warmth is meant to heat my cold heart.

Maybe your light is supposed to ignite the fire in my soul again.

Maybe if we were ever to meet one day, and my lips collided with yours,

maybe we could have an Eclipse.

Maybe, just maybe, we could be something.

The sun chases the moon in an endless cycle,

but what would happen if the moon stopped running away?

What would happen if our worlds collided,

and together,

we became an eclipse?